


He Won't Answer

by ashleyerwinner



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Leviathan Castiel, Lucifer is a jerk, M/M, Switched POV, dean prays to god, prayers, pre-destiel, sad!dean, trench coat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:19:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyerwinner/pseuds/ashleyerwinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Give him back to me you son of a bitch! I love him! I don't deserve this!" Dean yelling to God about Cas; Sam overhears with disbelief.</p><p>Cas is dead; drowned in the reservoir, and Dean is hurt. Sam is hallucinating Lucifer, but is he hallucinating Dean praying to God?</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Won't Answer

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by tumblr user [iloveloganficken](http://iloveloganficken.tumblr.com/).

When Cas walked into the reservoir, the bubbles slowly stopping as the man drowned, Dean's world fell apart around him. Colors blended, blurred, and lost all pigment, graying swirls around him, and his head felt light, his heart a cold, motionless object in his chest. When the ugly, bloody, stained trench coat appeared floating in the water, Dean watched from above as his own body grabbed the last part of Cas he'd ever see again.

He assumed Cas would return, or maybe it was hope, but as days turned into weeks, and into months, Dean came to realize God had given up any hope he had once seen in Cas. Dean could empathize, but it made the pain of Cas' loss no easier to bear.

He found himself grinning at every rustling noise, turning around, half-expecting Cas' squinty-eyed head tilt as he faced towards the sound, but it never was.

Sam watched his brother suffer silently, the alcohol on his breath noticible from a distance. Sam too kept the hope of Cas' return, but not more than Dean.

Their profound bond, it seemed, went both ways.

Despite the hallucinations of Lucifer, and the horrid angel's obnoxious at destroying Sam from within, Dean's sorrow grounded him in a tragic way that even Lucifer had to mock. He pressed at the wound on his hand, expelling the hallucination.

Dean focused on his face, a peculiar look of concern etched in his weary eyes. Dean was exhausted. Sam chuckled out an "I'm fine", and he saw his brother nod, an immediate sign of Dean's knowledge that Sam was full of shit.

Dean stumbled up from the seat, pushing the brittle book away from him, and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm going outside for a breather." He said, and Sam clenched his jaw shut, a forced smile forming as he nodded. The door clicked shut and Sam focused on the books of lore in front of him.

Until Lucifer began taunting him again.

"Your precious brother is going crazier than you, Sam." His voice was slow, a smile hidden in every word. "He's outside of the door, talking to himself  _right now_." Sam refused to look at the devil, and instead focused on the sounds coming from outside of the door. Lucifer was right. Dean was talking. Sam grabbed the knife from the table and walked to the door, pressing his ear firmly against the cool wood.

"Give him back to me, you sunovabitch." Dean said, obvious emotion in his voice. Was Dean...  _praying_?

"Aw." Lucifer was whispering in his ear. The close proximity made Sam's stomach turn sour. "Dean is praying to my father." Sam bit his tongue.

"I love him." Dean's voice dropped low, barely audible, but Sam could make out those three words, clear as day. He took in a sharp breath, and Lucifer cackled.

"What a  _shocking_ turn of events!" Sam felt the anger pour through his pores.

"I don't deserve this!" Dean screamed into the night, the words slurred and broken. Sam wanted to push himself out of the door, to help Dean, to console him, but he stayed planted, face pressed against the door.

"He won't answer, you know." Lucifer said, and Sam cringed at the sound of his voice. "My father sees the pain both of you are in, and he doesn't care. You were  _made_ to suffer. Such is the "complexity" and "usefullness" of the human race." Sam dug his fingernails into the wound on his hand, and revelled at the peaceful silence between the muffled sobs outside of the door.

Sam made his way back to the table, bewildered at Dean's confession to God.

Ten minutes later, Dean came back inside, flinging himself across the motel bed closest to the door. Sam looked at his brother's motionless body for a moment, and spoke up.

"Cas will come back, Dean. I'm sure of it." He said, plainly. Dean barely moved, but his eyes shot open, blood-red, and puffy.

"Shut the fuck up, Sam." He said, but the look in his eyes softened, a thankful look for Sam's words.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my newest headcanon: Sam can't trust his Lucifer not to make him hallucinate situations, so when he's not hallucinating Lucifer, he forgets about this happening,chocking it up to Lucifer making him hallucinate it, but starts to see that Dean and Cas have something between them.


End file.
